yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
