I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
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Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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