C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dicks are not precious.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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