just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
