honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
