seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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