pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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