So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You can't just leave with hair like that
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
