birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
