she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
