theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
