And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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