i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I want her autograph on my taint
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
