how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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