I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ketchup is God's man juice
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
