She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
