oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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