okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
