Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
