Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
