Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
