Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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