could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
