Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize