If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
