I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
