The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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