so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
