i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
