YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
