he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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