Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
