is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
