I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He kissed a someone with a penis
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize