Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
