Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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