he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
