I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
