Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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