Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
