This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
