she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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