So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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