Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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