pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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