you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
