Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize