I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Can Purell be used as lube?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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