Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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