Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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