The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize