I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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