Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
