come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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