I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
