Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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