1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
