Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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