yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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