Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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