This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
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So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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